On the crucial importance of "still" and its value (series: notes to myself)
From being to still being, from doing to still doing, this is the real signal of a transition from one block to the next. It is acknowledged by yourself sometimes, maybe while running, with surprise. But more often and reliably by those who speak about you. And the still, although signalling continuity, really marks a threshold. Because, when you were young, nobody said that you were still dancing.
Now that you are middle-aged, you "still" life. And you do so asymmetrically. Maybe in your passions (you are still a child), but not in your religious belief (God is not to be found). Or perhaps in your tastes (you still like pizza more than any other food) but not in your interests (who cares about little plastic soldiers).
There will be an age of nolongers, if you are lucky. One day, you will realise that you nolonger this or that in your life: walk without support, read without effort, hear without help. But not now. Now hold on to the many stills and notyets.
Between stilling life and notyetting it, the difficulty is appreciating what is still doable and enjoyable, and what is not yet gone and unreachable.
Stilling is part of the progressive fulfilment of hope, which is the definition of happiness. But the real blessing is to still together, in a hammock.
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